Forever Feeling You
by DarkestFlameUchiha
Summary: Late at night when the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I wish on a star, that somewhere you are thinking of me too. SasuNaru


Hey there. I have a new story up. There's not much to say except that I hope you enjoy it. It does not include any hentai so I don't think I can quite consider it yaoi (with hentai). It's more shonen-ai (without hentai). I appreciate your supporting me.

A/N: I dedicate this fanfic to Mi-chan. As usual… Also, this is written from Naruto's POV. It may not make much sense or be well written, but that would be a product of writing this at one in the morning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did it would be rated M for…logical reasons.

"Blah"-talking

'Blah'-thinking

_Blah-flashback_

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Forever Feeling You

**Late at night when all the world is sleeping**

**I stay up and think of you**

**And I wish on a star that somewhere you are**

**Thinking of me too**

I glared out the window of my apartment, resenting that I'd lived another day.

The knife from last night's failed attempt to commit suicide lay in the side-table drawer. I couldn't bear to look at it, caked in blood.

It wasn't my own blood though, no, it wasn't the tainted blood that had been targeted to mar it. It wasn't my own blood that lay painted on the tip of the blade, but Sakura's. She had put her hand in the way right before the knife had come in contact with the thin layer of skin covering the jugular vein. It had become a habit of Sakura's to check on me, to make sure that my depression hadn't diverted my attention from eating. It was a mistake to come last night.

"_You jerk! How dare you try killing yourself?! I can't believe you'd be so selfish as to do such a thing! I lost enough when Sasuke left, don't you dare take yourself away from me, too!"_

_Her anger was so impressive that for a moment I actually felt guilty. But the rage subsided and she finally started crying. She took my hands into hers and spoke._

"_Please don't Naruto…I can't afford to…lose you…too." Her voice trembled and became a distant whisper._

But that's not what hit me the hardest. It was the fact that she had mentioned something of a past life that we'd both unconsciously agreed to never mention again.

I hadn't heard his name in so long that the almost healed wound I'd received when he left tore open again. His name, which brushed razors against the edges of my pain.

I felt as though I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me. Even now as I remembered last night, it hit me just as hard as it had then; Sasuke.

I clutched my chest, hoping for the waves of pain to suddenly give way and falter, but it did not. It only worsened as the memories I'd so carefully locked away in the recesses of my mind suddenly flooded back to me.

"_If you're so angry, then get stronger than me, dobe."_

"_I want to fight you, too."_

"_I never want to watch my precious people die in front of me again."_

"_Don't let your dreams die, Naruto."_

I punched the wall out of frustration. 'Leave me alone! You can't just leave me to die, can you?! You've already taken yourself from me, what more can you possibly hope to deprive me of?!'

I held my head in my hands, and tried to breathe, trying to stave off the boiling fury that only _his_ betrayal could revive. I sighed and got up out of bed.

Without bothering to eat breakfast, again, I stumbled out the door into the blinding, warm rays of the midday sun.

I walked without knowing, or caring, where my feet were leading me. As my vision focused, I realized where I was.

It had been six years since the training ground had even crossed my mind.

"_Here," He said, pushing his lunch towards me. "You'll only get in my way if you're hungry."_

_It was the first time we had acted as a team._

I sat against one of the logs in the ground, the same log that I'd been tied to on that very day, as a matter of fact, and stared into the water across from me. I sat there, wallowing in apathy, for what could have been hours.

"Naruto-kun?" A voice sounded quietly form behind me, breaking my reverie.

I ignored him, but he came to sit beside me anyways.

"What are you doing here, Sai?" I wasn't quite in the mood to see the raven at the moment, much less anyone else.

He sighed. "I was worried about you. You're looking more and more distant each day." His voice shook, as if he were revealing something embarrassing.

"I'm fine, Sai." My words came out more sharply than intended, causing both of us to flinch.

I stood up and started walking back to my apartment. I kicked a rock and almost laughed. It reminded me of the time when we'd first met Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari.

I inhaled sharply; the pain in my chest was growing stronger. It remained that way until I reached my house.

I stopped in front of the door and just stood there. Lying on the ground was the picture of Team 7 that I'd thrown out months ago. I could tell that it was the same one because I noticed the cracked corner; I'd done that one night when I'd slammed it on the dresser after staring at for a few hours. I'd cried afterwards.

I slumped against the door and stared at it again. It was from a time when none of us, not even Sasuke, could have predicted that our worlds would be shattered. Now that it _had_ happened, now that there was no turning back time, the only choice I had was to keep going.

I couldn't keep thinking about what _used to be_, I couldn't keep imagining, hoping, praying, for those days to return.

This was reality, and those…those were childish fantasies centered around impossible odds.

I had to face it, I wasn't going to get those days back…I wasn't going to get my life back…and I wasn't going to get Sasuke back.

My only chance to change that had come, long ago, and I'd wasted it. I'd failed; not only myself, but Sasuke as well.

Tears began streaming down my face, I fought them back viciously, but they still came.

I had to have cried myself to sleep, because when I woke up, I was lying in my bed with the light on. Someone had to have put me there; I couldn't remember walking into the apartment.

I felt soft fingers gently tracing my jaw. "I'm so sorry, Naruto. I am so sorry."

I flinched and the fingers froze. I couldn't turn over and check if I was right. I couldn't.

I felt something wet on my face, and realized that he was crying.

This had to be a dream, I reasoned, Sasuke would never be so weak as to cry in front of me.

Finally, my will gave out as the urge to see Sasuke's face again overcame me. I turned over and looked up to see onyx eyes clouded by sadness. I cupped his seraph face and wiped away the tears that rained down his cheeks. He slowly wrapped his arms around me.

Carefully, I pressed my lips against his, carefully, so afraid that he was going to disappear in a puff of smoke and leave me to die again.

"Naruto…Naruto…I'm so…sorry…" he whispered between kisses.

I didn't push any harder against him, no matter how much my body wanted me to. All I wanted to know was that I wasn't alone anymore.

But then something hit me, hard, and the strange smell was permeating the bittersweet atmosphere. It smelled iron-like. Then I realize that fresh blood was pooling on the hardwood floor—Sasuke's blood.

"Sasuke…!"

He smiled slightly, like he had long before he'd left, like my old Sasuke. "I had to…fight them off…to get to you…dobe. But, I made it…" His face looked so peaceful, so untroubled, that I almost believed him. Almost.

"Sasuke, come on! We need to get you to Tsunade-baachan!" I cried, trying to get him to move, but his arms remained around me, leaving me immobile.

"No, dobe…they'd only kill me…that much faster…remember…I'm a missing nin…" he coughed up blood, and the scent burned my nose.

"Sasuke, please…please don't leave me…please don't leave me again…please don't…!" I shuddered, and failed miserably to wipe away the tears assaulting my face without my permission.

"Dobe...I can't leave you…now. I'll always be there…now; there are no limits…to our love." Finally, I pushed away, my white shirt soaked crimson to the thread.

"Sasuke, please don't! Please don't! I'm begging you! Don't—" He cut me off by capturing my lips again.

"I love you, dobe…remember—" He cut off. He struggled to take in another breath, smiled at me, then faded away.

"Sasuke! Sasuke!" I shook him by the shoulders, but he didn't respond. "No…! No! No!" I didn't want to believe he was gone for good, not this time or ever.

"Wake up, teme! Wake up!" I screamed. His face wasn't peaceful. He hadn't died wanting to. "I didn't ask for you to come see me!"

I was hit full force by the realization of what had just happened. It had sounded all too much like what happened in the Land of Waves, so many years ago. Except this time, my feelings for him were much stronger, and this time, I couldn't kill someone to avenge him.

"_Why did you even bother? I didn't ask to be saved!" I yelled at him._

"_How should I know…My body just reacted on its own…dobe…" He replied in that same old calm voice, as if nothing had happened._

Somehow, the knife looked oddly inviting again. I yanked the drawer open and examined my reflection off the steel: disheveled and dirty.

My eyes were red-rimmed portals of emptiness, pain, and suffering that only one person knew of. That one person now lay dead beside me.

I felt no fear as I plunged the knife into my neck. I only felt relief and joy. Now, Sasuke would be mine forever. He had no possible way to escape me.

As I lay on the floor, feeling the life quickly draining out of me, I grabbed Sasuke's hand and held it tightly. I thought I caught him smirk, but it was most likely an illusion caused by my lack of blood.

Later tonight, or perhaps tomorrow morning, Sakura or someone would come along to check on me. They would only find my love and me together at last. Triumphing even in death.

My vision began fading, darkness ruling my sight, when Sasuke came into view. "Come on, dobe. Let's go home."

I grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled him into a gentle kiss. "I'm home, teme."

Together we walked, hand in hand, towards the light.

At home, now and forever.

**Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight**

**Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight**

**And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be**

**Than here in my room dreaming about you and me**

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I finally finished it. I feel somewhat sad that I had to do this, that the pessimistic side of me doesn't know when to let me go…The good news is, I've already started on my first long-running SasuNaru story; so expect to see me soon.

Reviews please! Look, I'll even give you tickets to the next AX. You can come with me! Flamers, you know what I'll do. And I now have Wolfram at my expense. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Until next time, ja ne.


End file.
